quite long...would love to hear other's ideas
08/02/08 09:11 PM
Girls are taught to be nice so we don't say the nasty things that boys do. Boys are taught to be competitive.
The great thing about getting older is that you just don't give a [censored] what anyone else thinks of you. It's a wonderful plus to go with the graying hair. I'm not being sarcastic. It is liberating to be free of the restraints that keep you from being who you really are.
It takes awareness to question the way you are in the world. It must be a conscious choice to be different from they way you were socialized. I think that is why assertiveness is so difficult. Women have to learn it but males learn it as boys. I think because it takes us longer to learn since we are not taught it as girls that we are labeled as bitches when we do speak up for ourselves. It is seen as different from how girls are socialized and expected to be. Assertiveness isn't always ladylike.
100 years ago women were chattel. We belonged to our fathers or our husbands. Very few had control over their own lives. To keep the peace, you don't criticize the one in control. But it's all learned, it's not how women are innately. It's cultural and now that things have changed it will take several generations to change the learned behaviors.
Men are more aggressive than women but I don't think they are more competitive. Women compete with other women for a man but men compete for status in order to get a woman. Now that women are in the workplace and competing with men for status, they feel threatened because it's doubly hard for them. They are competing with other men and with women.
I don't think men are as aware as women. They react rather than respond. They are less in touch with feelings so they act them out. We feel the feelings but sometimes can't put names to them. I think women are out of touch with their anger so they become depressed, resentful and bitchy.
I think the way girls are socialized is a hangover from the past. We just keep doing what the previous generation did so it goes on and on. A new more aware way needs to be developed to raising children so that boys and girls are aware of all their feelings. It's much healthier.
Boys can get angry but not feel or express anything else. Girls can feel and express all the other emotions but anger because it's not nice.
The put downs on South Park are anger and competitiveness. It's ugly.
A clique of girls making fun of others because of weight or clothes is just as ugly.
Both represent a lack of wholeness, a lack of self-acceptance and immaturity. I think the goal of life is to learn to love and accept yourself. Once you can do that (and it's the hardest thing to do) you see others with compassion and acceptance because there is no competition and status is irrelevant. Also, you'd know who you are and build a life that is true to yourself that will truly bring you joy and satisfaction. Accepting yourself is accepting the imperfect.
So, why do I love makeup so much? Because it's a lot of fun. I make no attempt to make myself perfect. It makes me more me.
The mistake men make is assuming that everything a woman does is because of them. I don't wear makeup for men and I don't dress for men but I admit that I may dress a certain way so as not to attract the criticism of other women.
fair with a blue undertone, Origins Stay Tuned in Fair, highlighted blond hair and green hazel eyes.